At last it’s February, which means Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and we’ll be flooded with images of happy couples buying each other heart-shaped boxes of chocolates and going out on fabulous dates. But what if you’re single this year? Does that mean that the 14th February will leave you sitting at home on your own, feeling as though you’re missing out on love, care, attention and being spoiled?
Absolutely not, says relationship counsellor Ali Waters, who tells Lumity that Valentine’s Day is a brilliant opportunity for single men and women to go off and really enjoy themselves:
“I encourage my single clients to embrace Valentine’s Day with both arms and to see it as a chance to truly enjoy doing whatever they fancy – so they get into the habit of self-care and self-love,” Ali tells Lumity.
Ali explains that circling a day on the calendar that falls near February 14th (the weekend before or just after this year would be ideal she says) and setting it aside as pure, unadulterated ‘me time’ could signal the start of regular dates where you enjoy spending time with yourself:
“The days of women and men feeling self-conscious about being single are long gone,” Ali says. “We are all so honest with our friends now that we are all well aware how unhappy many marriages and relationships can be. We know that the freedom to do as you please far outweighs the misery of being trapped with someone you can’t stand, or don’t like.
“So celebrate yourself and everything you truly love about you on Valentine’s Day this year – be your own date.
“To start, you could book into a spa for the day and spend a whole afternoon being pampered, you could take yourself to the movies, or book a weekend city break and go off somewhere exciting and fun on your own.
“Who doesn’t love the idea of Paris or New York in the springtime? – Why not go off on an adventure and see it as a really wonderful opportunity to please only yourself while you’re there. See what you want, shop where you want and eat where you want. It’s so liberating when you start to see being single as a huge opportunity for personal growth and learning about what brings you joy.
“Be brave about it, then make it a habit that becomes a part of your life: Sign up to new classes – whether that’s hot yoga, or scented candle-making, really make the most of setting aside time to do things that make you happy and fulfilled throughout the year.
“It’s not being selfish, it’s about looking after yourself.
“It will then spread over into other areas of your life and you will become more confident and worry less, or perhaps you will go off and achieve that long-standing ambition you’ve always secretly harboured but never quite felt able to do.”
But Ali underlines that self-care and self-love can really be as simple as taking the time to prepare yourself a delicious meal, “It’s a question of really remembering that you are worth the effort and that a meal shouldn’t be seen as something that is only worth doing if you’re trying to impress or look after someone else,” she says. “How about impressing and treating yourself? – buy yourself flowers, cook yourself a candlelit dinner. Don’t wait around for someone else to sweep you off your feet – you can do that for yourself.”
Do you agree? Let us know what your plans are for Valentine’s Day in the comments below…