Is it time for a toxic friend detox?
-Aug 30, Jenny Paul, Living -
Often it seems that whenever we turn on the news that someone famous has died, or there’s been an awful tragedy of some kind, or in our personal lives people from the past are suddenly turning up after years of silence and causing mayhem.
In times of trouble, a lot of famous faces (and those of us who aren’t well known) are now turning to alternative therapies for help and guidance. Jennifer Aniston, Eva Longoria and Brad Pitt have all be known to turn to psychics when they’re in need of direction – whether that’s in their careers, personal or love lives. And, it’s also fun to hear what might be in store.
Jayne Wallace is the woman that Kim Kardashian, Tracy Emin, Matthew Wright and brands including Jimmy Choo, Bourque Makeup and Charlotte Tilbury Makeup have all worked with when they’ve been in need of clarity and direction.
She has been interviewed by US talk show host Larry King and specialises in Tarot, Clairvoyance, Astrology, Crystals, Palmistry, Angelic and Reiki Healing. And, she has had her own floor, which is dedicated to all things esoteric, where she gives readings to a dedicated client base at Selfridges department store in London for over ten years now.
Jayne tells Lumity: “It’s true that the past few years have been full of disconnection and confusion. People are getting mixed up signals from each other and falling out for silly reasons, perhaps someone will think another person was supposed to call and then they don’t so they fall out as a result.
“But all that bad, negative energy is going to clear and it will make way for a fresh energy with more understanding between everyone.”
The London-born healer has some surprisingly down-to-earth advice for when life isn’t going your way:
“When life seems overwhelming, it’s often a great idea to do a friends detox; we all have people in our lives that have been around for far too long,” Jayne says. “Perhaps out of a sense of sentimentality that we have known them for years when the truth is that you’ve grown apart.
“Certain people carry a very negative, toxic energy as they age. They become the sort of fair weather friends that only call others when they want something from them. It’s all take and no give and often you come away from spending time with them feeling drained, because all they have done is complain about their own problems, without even stopping for breath to ask how you are.
“Yet, they’re also the sort of people who are never there when their lives are going well, and you don’t hear from them then.
“September is a great month to sit down and think about who are the negative people in your life and to take a step back from them.
“You don’t have to fall out, or anything dramatic, but you also don’t need to feel guilt-tripped into spending time with them purely because you’ve known them for a number of years.
“Instead, think about who are the people in your life that you can really rely on: Those who you can call at 3am if you’re in trouble and they would help, and who you would also help in a similar situation and spend time with them.
“Most of us have about four people like that, so stick with them – the people who love you and who you love, who you laugh with and who spending time with is enriching rather than exhausting. And, then let the others go. Time is far too precious to waste on toxic friends who make us feel bad about ourselves.”
And, psychologist Anita Hall agrees: “It’s true that a lot of us have people in our lives whom we have grown apart from over the years, instead of growing closer to after time spent nurturing and supporting each other and the friendship. They’re the people who are never around during a crisis because it isn’t fun for them, but will turn up only when they want someone to go out and party with, or need a distraction. If you’re fine with that then great, but if certain people are making you feel emotionally drained then a parting of the ways will make way for better friendships instead.”
Jayne can be found at Selfridges and also does email and phone readings, and has also released a tarot deck which is themed around the ocean and comes with a book which helps you to learn to give yourself readings, it is available on Amazon. Her card for September is Strength – which means better times are definitely coming…
Have you had toxic friends? What did you do about it? Let us know in the comments below…